Welcome. This is the story of a mom, daughter, and family on a mental health journey.
Welcome to the La Vie Est Belle blog. Written by our founder, Kristin Rohman Rehkamp, and guest contributors on similar journeys,
it seeks to serve as a testimony to life braving pediatric or youth mental health and illness.
Inspired by Kristin’s Blogs…
Finding Us: A Mother’s Memoir of Braving Mental Illness with Her Daughter is now available in our shop and launching with major national and international retailers (Amazon, Target, Barnes & Noble, Walmart…etc.) on October 15, 2022!
Kristin gives a memoir that is personal and passionate; it is contemporaneous, insightful and wise. “Finding Us" is unerringly truthful to the experience for those who have never had mental illness in the family, and those who HAVE will recognize their own stories within it. -Dan Parnell, NAMI Affiliate Leader
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Kristin was terrified she was going to lose her daughter. Her daughter could not breathe, her chest hurt, and she was experiencing loss of sensation in limbs, dizziness, and disorientation…all rolling up to a state of terror she had never before witnessed. It was September 16, 2020 and her life changed, suddenly and without warning, with her daughter’s onset of a panic disorder.
Living with a mental illness is a journey that is messy, complicated and often misunderstood. Despite our best efforts, an experience we cannot control, but instead bravely learn to live with, learn from, and feasibly teach others.
In Finding Us, Kristin Rohman Rehkamp shares her story to educate and bring visibility to what living with a child braving a mental illness looks like and feels like. Her hope is that her memoir normalizes the mental health conversation, while providing others comfort and support in knowing their unique challenges and journey are understood.
Welcome to our collection of blogs. Raw testimony, unique insight, shared perspectives. We hope they provide hope, inspiration, and comfort. Please know, you are not alone. We hear you, we see you, we are standing next to you.
Change that Start with Us
I have not written for months…I needed to find my voice again…a different voice. I have quietly been observing and learning from others. Overtime I have found a more confident voice and wider perspective. Hospitals and insurance providers are starting to reach out - interested in our story and perspective. So, I bravely share it…
What have I learned through our own experience and listening to others? Our children are in trouble - statistics tell us this, but in our hearts we also know it to be true. Specifically, our girls. Sadly, the reasons are obvious…and so is the solution. It starts with us - each and every one of us. This is not about them…it is about us.
The Last and New Chapter
I feel like I have exhausted all that I can currently share about our journey/our story…successes and failures, disappointments and discoveries, emotional rollercoasters, and days of pure exhaustion followed by triumphs. Many of you have journeyed alongside me/our family for nearly two years and would no doubt agree that every rock has been overturned and every corner rounded. And for all your love and support - I/we will be forever grateful.
These Are Our Children…
I am once again reminded and remind others the importance of advocating for a loved one who braves mental illness. We ultimately know them best and in a world that struggles to understand mental illness, and often exhausted by it, too easily moves past leaving those that battle with few good answers and little support. If there is one thing to learn…do not give up on our children.
Courage and “Just Doing”
I just don’t know. I am so tired of not knowing. I am so tired of not having answers. I am frustrated I cannot plan or plan on. I am sometimes angry…and tired of feeling angry. I wish others understood, but yet I understand why they do not.
Together, We Will Be…
It is a rainy Saturday evening. I am curled up on the couch quietly reading the first print proof of our book. I am quite literally holding the weight of the last two years in my hands. Our story between two covers, yet so much still unwritten. I reflect a bit on where we have been, where we are now, and where we are headed. Truth be told, the only question I can answer is where we have been.
No Greater Love and Commitment…
I know a number of others parenting a child living with mental illness struggle balancing commitments outside the home and feasibly dedication (even personal character) questioned. I struggle as well. My response and advocacy for others…
I Wonder if Our Daughter Realizes…
As parents we watch for glimpses or indicators (with the same hope and diligence you might wait for a baby’s first word or first step) that our daughter is making progress - her abilities to cope, manage and live with her anxiety, trauma and panic getting stronger. Often unfairly disappointed because our expectations are not always fair or reasonable.
But then this week our daughter shares the following…
Lost in a Memory
Our daughter mentioned that over the past two years of trauma and life not “feeling real” (both a symptom and trigger of panic), she is experiencing a sense of “this cannot be real/I do not deserve this”. As life presents some resemblance or reminders of “life before/happiness”, our daughter is feeling anxious and unsure of her value and deservedness…
The Other Side of Every Fear is Freedom
I watched from afar as our children climbed up and down the beautiful rock formations of the Badlands, SD. I teared up as I watched our oldest summit one of the tallest, throw her arms up, and shout; “I did it!”
I Took the One Less Traveled by…
When I was a young girl, I was asked to recite a poem for a class. I chose The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost. I did not choose this poem because it was popular, easy to recite, short…or any other reason a child might choose a poem to memorize for a class assignment. I chose it because there was a familiarity or meaning I did not yet understand, but already appreciated. How could I have possibly known its relevance later in life? A road I often traveled alone, but now as a wife and mother; I travel it for my children…my husband…my oldest daughter who braves a panic disorder. Hoping along the way we continue to find courage and strength while empowering others.
My Girls Will Always Have a Choice
My daughter said to me this week after the over-turn of Roe vs. Wade…”Mom, I do not understand why others feel they can take away the rights of others? Aren’t we all human first? Therefore, we are all equal…and shouldn’t all have equal choice?”
No One Else Could Do It Better
It is Father’s Day today. So, today’s blog is dedicated to my husband and all the other fathers/father figures out there that love unconditionally and give daily. A special note to all the fathers and grandfathers that support a loved one that has fallen ill - physically or mentally. Your job is unfairly harder…requiring extra strength, patience and care…despite extra doses of exhaustion, worry and fear.
Her Illness Does Not Define Her
Our daughter is not a child with behavior issues. Our daughter’s behaviors that are a manifestation of her panic disorder do not define her. She is not a mentally ill child, but instead a child that courageously lives with mental illness. This small but significant difference is the change that will be the catalyst for a different future...for our daughter…and for so many others.
Someday We Will Understand
Our 13-year-old daughter was sitting on my lap just moments before in tears again missing the life she once had. Telling me how alone she feels. Her experience not well understood…terrifying…and lonely. She is right. I am always at a loss despite a willingness to move mountains.
But there is one thing I can do…I can share her story.
Welcome To Holland
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
By Emily Perl Kingsley. c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved.
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability [or medical condition/mental health condition/different ability] – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……
For All the Reasons I Wanted to Tell Her…
For all the reasons I couldn’t tell her, but wanted to…
…and then I told her and braced myself…
…a few friends, family and advisors in our life saying “maybe”, “no”…”you can’t”…our daughter said “yes, I need this”.
Honor the Challenges
I have an incredible 10-year-old son. He has an infectious smile, the biggest heart, and complex medical needs (including autism, ADHD, anxiety, depression, sensory processing disorder, and disruptive behavior disorder), in addition to an unknown genetic disorder. …and the best laugh.
The Impossible Decision
This past week I have grappled not only with a decision my husband and I might be forced to make, but a decision we cannot even accept or rationalize exists. A decision beyond unfair for parents that may be forced to make it and even more unfair for the child that lives with a mental illness they did not choose.
A Letter to the President
One year ago…
Our daughter was putting on her shoes and heading to the mailbox. I asked her, “What are you doing, honey?”
She responds, “I am mailing a letter to the president.”
One year later…this same girl (with all her courage and tenacity) received a note back from the president…
Coming in Hot
Monday morning, 15 minutes from successfully making it to the car to go to school (always a triumph), my son slams on the brakes. He had what he calls a vision, which led to a panic attack. 100 to 0 in 0.2 seconds. Pure panic, terror, fear. Enter the coping strategies his psychologist, CTSS skills worker, OT have taught him for years. Finger breathing, cold glass of water, pet the dog. Still spinning. Then my anxiety starts: He needs to go to school. What if he throws something? What if he hits himself?