“I am a Survivor.”

So…guessing you may have thought that this quote was from my oldest daughter who is courageously braving mental illness or maybe from me…possibly my husband. But no…not us.

Let me introduce you to my youngest (you chuckled, didn’t you!?). She is my five-year-old. My beautiful blonde, curly-haired free-spirit. We call her our little spitfire…never afraid, always curious and quite hilarious. Because of her cute little personality (and ability to get-away with just about anything), she has had a pretty blessed little life. People seem to gravitate to her naturally and easily, therefore, she is always happy and entertaining.

My mom came down for a visit the other day. I heard her enter the house and have a conversation with my littlest (still in her pjs and hair tossed all about). My mom (or grandma) says, “Hi, honey, how are you this morning?”. Without missing a beat my little girl responds, “I am a survivor, grandma, I am a survivor.”

Now, my mom and I chuckled a bit…not something you expect a five-year-old to say. Quite possible she heard it from her brother/sister, school or online, and simply repeated it. To this day I am not sure she understood what she said. But the funny thing is…what a spot-on remark…appropriate for any of us who lived a year with Covid, but especially for a little girl who has watched her older sister brave a mental illness for six months.

There have been times this little girl watched her big sister leave the house and not come home for nearly 3 weeks after an extended hospital stay that started with an ER visit. Let alone not understanding the “why” and “what” with her sister, she often did not get to say, “Goodbye, I love you and when will you be home?” She has watched her big sister (who she adores and looks up to) disappear, not want to play or talk, hit, scream and run-away from home. And again, this all happened overnight, so for this little girl, a change none of us understood or could explain to her. Today she is watching her older sister slowly return…with good days and bad days, so nothing is consistent, predictable or at times makes sense.

Mental illness does not just impact one person. It impacts a family…a community. It is not just “one” that needs support, understanding and healing…it is many. It even impacts our hilarious happy-go-lucky little girl that should not have a care in the world…but sadly does.