You are One Tough Woman

A blog from a woman I admire beyond measure. Amy Pahl-Zeszutek is a friend, neighbor and a mama of an autistic son with mental health co-morbidities. Amy is one of the most resourceful and strongest persons I know. She teaches me every day - many of my own blogs referencing something I quietly (maybe not so quietly) learned from her. Funny, when I mention I am balancing a full plate and need help…a woman who has two full plates…does not hesitate and sends the following blog - freeing my time to spend with my family. A great woman who understands the power of “yes” and knows even the strongest women need help.

Amy writes…

I am often told, “You are one tough woman.” As women, why are we celebrated for being tough and strong? Is the fact that we are powering something to be celebrated? On the flip side, we are being told to be vulnerable, ask for help when we need it and that we don’t have to do it all. We are cheered for being strong, but also cheered for asking for help.

As the mom of an autistic son with mental health co-morbidities, accepting help has been a slow process. My son’s social worker, therapists, and family suggested for years that we bring in a PCA for my son. “It will give you a chance to breathe.” “You can rest and take some me time.” “Just ten hours a week or so – you deserve it.” I was adamantly opposed to it. I am strong! I can do it! I cannot concede to needing help caring for my own son! I am told all the time, “I am one tough woman.” If I bring in help, who am I?

I brought in the help. One year ago, I said “yes”. I hired a brilliant PCA. My son adores her. She challenges him and brings things to his life that I cannot. Let’s be honest – she is twenty-four and runs five miles a day. She is young, fun, and fills our home with joy. She allows me time for myself to work, fold a basket of laundry…even go to a movie (I’ve only done that once, but it was amazing).

What if you said “yes”? “Yes” to the friend who keeps offering help? “Yes” to bringing in help? “Yes” to getting a babysitter, so you can take yourself on a date to the movies? Mom with an autistic child, mom with a child braving a mental illness, mom with three kids under four, stay-at-home mom, working mom, woman who simply exists on this earth – no matter who you are you can be tough…and vulnerable…and a great woman. Say “yes”.