I sit in the leather chair near the Christmas tree looking out my frosted front window. It snowed last night. Instantly the landscape changed…the green grass is now dusted white. I have been so busy I was not even aware it was supposed to snow and suddenly my day feels different than I imagined it would. If there is truly one constant these days…it certainly is change. Sometimes exciting and often exhausting.

Like so many others…I balance all “the things”…including the change that feels bigger and heavier these days. Most often I am fairly confident my husband would agree that I do not always do it well. Grateful he quietly picks up the slack when I cannot effectively hang onto all the ropes of life.

To be clear…our family is okay. I am talking about the social and political climate or change we carefully wade every day with three children, family, friends, neighbors and strangers. I am just going to proactively ask for forgiveness right now. I do not know how to be a good parent (maybe even person) during this time. Knowing how to navigate these new waters is exhausting and often frustrating. So, please do not judge me/us. Always assume highest and best intent because we (along with so many others) are trying our best…but often making mistakes. There is simply no “how to” for this and unfortunately no “undo button” or “do-over”. We are taking it one day at a time…still finding joy and hope in the simple and beautiful pleasures that remind us what is truly important.

I cannot control how we react to a pandemic, political agendas or divisive behavior. Instead, I can control how I model love, forgiveness and kindness. So, forgive me as I put down my computer and go be with my family. Tomorrow I will tackle the climate outside with renewed energy and strength because I allowed myself time to refuel with those I love.